Are You Modeling The Role?
John 13:14-16 (Amplified Bible)
14If I then, your Lord and Teacher (Master), have washed your feet, you ought [it is your duty, you are under obligation, you owe it] to wash one another's feet.
15For I have given you this as an example, so that you should do [in your turn] what I have done to you.
16I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, A servant is not greater than his master, and no one who is sent is superior to the one who sent him.
Last week my daughter was privileged to be a part of a taping of a television show that will air on Saturday. They were addressing the topic of community service, mentorship and role models. The commentator asked the young adults on the panel, how many of them had role models, she went around and asked various ones who their role models were, when she got to my daughter, I was not sure what or who she would say, she has been blessed with so many wonderful people, that have impacted her life in a positive way. When she said her role model was my sister and I, I was shocked, not because I did not think I was a good mother, but she because she has a legacy of great people who have sowed into her life. As I prayed that night the Lord reminded me of something, that I had modeled a particular type of life in front of my children. They were never confused about where my loyalties were, who I served and who and what was important to me. I did not have multiple personalities that confused them. My life was an open book to them and still is.
I have had the honor of mentoring and leading youth for many years in youth ministry, and one of the greatest struggles I faced was children being confused by their parents about what it meant to be a Christian, and the fact that often they were chastised and reprimanded for behaviors that their parents openly exhibited at home. I use to listen and often cry with my babies, when they would express the hurt of being called a whore by a mom that was engaging in extramarital affairs. I would listen with sympathy as they expressed the fact that they were called “not good enough” or “no good,” by a violent and abusive parent. These parents were telling them don’t drink or do drugs and they were regularly abusing prescription drugs or alcohol. Young people were told not to lie; when they heard their parents lie to one another and others openly. How can we feel that is okay to try to guide our children when we are not living the life before them? The greatest advice is the example that we live before our children and the people that are entrusted to our care. If we want our children to respect and regard us as valuable in their lives we need to be seen as credible and living a life that is filled with integrity and truth, not lies and deceit, manipulation and falseness. I can never blame a child that seeks out another as a surrogate parent, or does not receive advice from their parents when their parent exhibits these behaviors on a consistent basis. Trust is earned and we are responsible to foster an environment that produces love, trust and reliability, not just when we can squeeze it in but everyday all day when there are children involved. When we decide to have children we give up the right to be any old kind of way on any given day, because there are lives at stake and those are the lives of our children. Selfishness and the need to be guided by it have to end, so that our children have a chance to be balanced and a good example for someone else.
If you are a parent, ask your child or children today (with no threatening agenda), would they consider you a role model or a good example? If they answer no, do not get mad, because this is the environment that you have produced. It is time to get “us” right, so that we can do better by our children and for them. The biggest blessing we can give our children is an example to follow, that models those ideals of what Christ wants us to be as parents. Give your children wings, but give them roots, that run deep and do not get cut off because of our own poor examples.
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